Kicking Heartbreak

Hugparty Protips

hugparty:

1. Don’t think about him. Trust me: he’s not thinking about you!

2. Seriously? There’s just no excuse to not shower, ok?

3. No. Put away the Alanis. NO.

4. You’re right - you are alone, and I don’t understand. Next topic?

5. He didn’t like those strawberry candles for a reason. You’re not proving anything, and your house smells like a Mississippi brothel.

Dazzle with your Grace (& Chandelier Diamonds)

(submitted by Deotima M.)

Vie,

This might sound a tad impossible in the face of such an emotional
crisis, but it works for me. It might not change your life overnight
but it is a significant step towards the light. When I had my heart
broken the first time (and a couple of times after that) initially I
couldn’t bring myself to tell anybody. I was 18 and didn’t want my
parents to know either. I was in such shock I couldn’t even cry. That
evening I had to attend a very important formal event. I went through
the usual motions of picking a dress, picking jewelery, doing my hair
and make-up etc. But the very act of trying to retain some normalcy
through this routine calmed me down a great deal. I didn’t want be a
curled-up ball at home, I wanted to be dazzling in my chandelier
diamond earrings and 5-inch heels. Even going to that event, meeting
people, having normal conversations kept me from just crumbling. Years
later when I read of women who suffer public heartbreaks stepping out
in style immediately after, and receiving admiration for it, I feel
like one of them. Nobody will write about my break-up or discuss my
composure on a talk show, but inwardly I know I’m being just as
graceful as they are, and that makes me proud. So it doesn’t need to
be a girls’ night of drunken revelry (though that works!) but just
somewhere that requires you to be composed and graceful and spend time
on what you wear and how you look. It is when we break
down…especially when we break down that we can find comfort in not
looking like it.

Dio

Create Yourself a Care Package

(submitted by Jo R.)

Dear Vie,

When I’m worried about something depressing—an impending rejection, career crisis, relationship turmoil—I indulge a secret cheesy habit and build myself an emergency care package. The things in it vary, but I always start with a note to my future, supine-on-the-couch self, reminding her that whatever she’s enduring is not insurmountable, and that she’ll recover. I butter her up with sweet, sincere compliments, and invite her to tuck into the box of goodies I’ve laid aside. I write like I’m talking to a little sister, but one whose judgment is skewed by hurt and sadness, and who would benefit from some level headed advice.

Though it’s great to do in advance, this works just as well if you’re already having a blue day (week, month…). Go somewhere quiet, breath slowly, and think about how, in a calmer mindset, you would take care of yourself. Friends are wonderful, but another person will never be as intimate with your situation—and who can resist a luxurious, epicurean care package? Some small measure of excitement and anticipation is inevitable.

Here are the kind of things I would put in mine:

• Zingerman’s Zzang Candy Bars (carried at Murray’s Cheese, and also on the Zingermans’s website)
• DVDs I’ve been meaning to watch, still in the plastic wrap
• Guilty pleasure novels I’ve been meaning to read (look for ones with a reputation for being uncannily absorbing, i.e. Twilight series or The Help)
• Chilled grapes or cherries
• Fresh magazines I don’t ordinarily subscribe to
• A new pair of knit cashmere socks
• Sake Bath (here from Sephora)
• L.A. Burdick Dark Hot Chocolate Mix (there’s a location in NYC, but you can also order from http://www.burdickchocolate.com)
• Ingredients for lemon madeleines (so easy it’s ridiculous—and marvelous with the hot chocolate)

Photos:

Recipe for Lemon Madeleines:

Ingredients

• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 5 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 lemon, juiced and zested
• 1/3 cup confectioners’ sugar for decoration

Directions

1. In a large bowl blend eggs and sugar add butter and blend well. On low speed, blend in flour, baking powder, lemon, vanilla.
2. Cover bowl with towel and let sit for one hour.
3. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) and butter and flour madeleine molds. Whisk batter then spoon into molds 3/4 full. Bake 10 minutes. Remove from molds and cool. Dust with confectioners’ sugar.

[recipe via allrecipes.com]

Feel better girls! This too shall pass.

xo,
Jo